{"id":601,"date":"2021-08-04T22:09:52","date_gmt":"2021-08-04T22:09:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/?p=601"},"modified":"2021-08-04T22:09:52","modified_gmt":"2021-08-04T22:09:52","slug":"escaping-the-big-chill","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/?p=601","title":{"rendered":"Escaping the Big Chill"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Try as we might, we probably won\u2019t win over everyone we meet. At times, we may be greeted with indifference, a lack of enthusiasm, perhaps skepticism, or maybe brusqueness. But on a few \u2013 hopefully very rare occasions \u2013 we might sense a stronger reaction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my previous article, I wrote about how feelings of antipathy are fairly uncommon. We\u2019re simply not wired to feel emotional extremes. Instead, if we sense that someone dislikes us, there\u2019s a good chance we\u2019re confusing this with something else \u2013 perhaps disappointment or disinterest.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But if you are consistently given the cold shoulder, it\u2019s time to assess your behavior. Yup, it actually could be you. Since our business depends on trust and acceptance, a little soul-searching might be in order.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Could your words or actions be offensive? Ask yourself the following questions:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do you dominate the conversation? <\/strong> Some of us go into meetings so focused on our own agenda that we leave little time for mutual exchange. Don\u2019t get me wrong \u2013 it\u2019s understandable to think about what you want to accomplish, but first consider \u2013 in fact, ask \u2013 what the donor would like to cover during your visit. By not overpacking an agenda, you allow yourself time to really listen and respond accordingly.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Are you respectful of your donor\u2019s time<\/strong>? Long meetings don\u2019t correlate with productivity. While you may equate a 3-hour lunch with bonding, your donors might feel like they\u2019re being held hostage. If you schedule a meeting for 30 minutes, stand by that. Then go one step further. Verify that this is still a good time-frame at the beginning of your discussion. And, of course, be on time. That is one significant thing you can do to show your respect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How is your attitude<\/strong>? Being good professionals, we put on our game-face and approach others in a cheery, congenial manner. That\u2019s to be expected. It\u2019s almost a job requirement to be positive in our profession. But I\u2019m not referring to whether your glass is half-empty or half-full. Our attitudes, especially negativity, can be expressed in much more nuanced and insidious ways. I\u2019ve known more than a few colleagues who, for instance, openly shared sensitive company information or casually pointed a finger in another direction to protect themselves. Deflection is a wonderful tool for those who are integrity-averse. Similarly, gossip is great fun, but it rarely has a place in our donor conversations. Reflect back on discussions that might have put the donor in an awkward position. Did you reveal too much? Did you in some way disparage your company? Were you having a fun conversation that bordered or even crossed into indiscretion? Donors and volunteers understand all too well who you represent. If your demeanor or discussion doesn\u2019t align with your organization\u2019s standard, this puts them in a conflicted position. Somewhere donors don\u2019t want to be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do you take responsibility<\/u><\/strong>? Your trustworthiness is the greatest asset you can bring to your relationships. If you breach another\u2019s trust, even in small ways, this will throw off the relational dynamic. With our busy schedules, it\u2019s easy to let things slide. Pay careful attention to details, like getting back to someone in a timely manner or delivering on your promises. If you\u2019ve messed up, own it. And don\u2019t shy away from the less than pleasant conversations, like communicating a delay or reporting disappointing news.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do you take the donor for granted<\/u><\/strong>? If you\u2019re treating someone like a personal ATM or conveniently making contact only when you need something, your donor will quickly catch on. Enough said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Are you overly familiar<\/u><\/strong>? It\u2019s really okay if you\u2019re not asked to tailgate or invited to Thanksgiving dinner. Donors don\u2019t expect to be your best friend. Don\u2019t push an intimacy that they don\u2019t want or need. You can still be appreciated even if your relationship is striclty professional.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When reflecting on these questions, be completely honest with yourself. This might include recognizing some hard truths that need remediation.  While difficult, I recommend a frank conversation with the donor. See if you are reading the situation correctly, apologize if needed, and then change your behavior. Most people will appreciate your honesty and will be willing to reset the relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you find yourself hopelessly stuck, remember that donor cultivation is a team sport. This is exactly why it\u2019s important to develop many strong bonds across your organization. Pull in a colleague to help you transition to smoother waters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Finally, don\u2019t give up! <\/strong> If you approach a conflict with a sincere desire to resolve it, there is a very good chance you can salvage the relationship and continue to work together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What hard lessons have you learned? And how have you resolved conflicts that appeared to be hopeless? I\u2019d love to hear from you.<\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Try as we might, we probably won\u2019t win over everyone we meet. At times, we may be greeted with indifference, a lack of enthusiasm, perhapsRead More<\/i><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":602,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"rise-blocks_total_comments":17,"rise-blocks_categories":[{"term_id":1,"name":"Uncategorized","slug":"uncategorized","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":1,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":47,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":1,"category_count":47,"category_description":"","cat_name":"Uncategorized","category_nicename":"uncategorized","category_parent":0}],"rise-blocks_excerpt":"Try as we might, we probably won\u2019t win over everyone we meet. At times, we may be greeted with indifference, a lack of enthusiasm, perhaps skepticism, or maybe brusqueness. But on a few \u2013 hopefully very rare occasions \u2013 we might sense a stronger reaction. In my previous article, I wrote about how feelings of antipathy are fairly uncommon. We\u2019re..","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/601"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=601"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/601\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":603,"href":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/601\/revisions\/603"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/602"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=601"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=601"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=601"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}