{"id":650,"date":"2022-04-30T16:52:55","date_gmt":"2022-04-30T16:52:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/?p=650"},"modified":"2022-04-30T16:52:55","modified_gmt":"2022-04-30T16:52:55","slug":"making-the-most-of-awkward-small-talk","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/?p=650","title":{"rendered":"Making the Most of Awkward Small Talk"},"content":{"rendered":"
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As we gradually make our way back to the office, so too do we find ourselves in positions that require small talk. That elevator ride, while seemingly interminable, is a bit more pleasant if we say something rather than just stare at our feet. Arriving at the same time to a meeting requires some sort of exchange of pleasantries. As tempting as it might be, it\u2019s simply not a good idea to sequester indefinitely in our cubicles or behind closed doors.<\/p>\n

As this NYT article<\/a> suggests, many people assiduously avoid what, to many, is a painstaking ritual \u2013 small talk.<\/p>\n

But small talk doesn\u2019t have to be a bad thing.<\/p>\n

About 20 years into my career (better late than never) I realized I needed to up my small talk game. Like so many others, I was especially stymied by that dreadful \u201chow are you?\u201d feedback loop. You know the one:<\/p>\n

\u201cHow are you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFine. And you\u201d?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFine\u201d.<\/p>\n

Smile. Pregnant pause. Eyes down. Move on.<\/p>\n

I felt as boring as I sounded. Worse, this oft-repeated script signified that I really didn\u2019t have much going on. Ironically, this was far from true \u2013 I had deadlines to meet, people to see, money to raise \u2013 but you would never know it from my insipid responses.<\/p>\n

I read a book, \u201cNice Girls Don\u2019t Get the Corner Office\u201d, and it had a game-changer suggestion. When asked about how we\u2019re doing, don\u2019t simply answer with a monosyllable. Instead, think of three top-of-mind topics and respond by mentioning one of those. For example:<\/p>\n

\u201cHow are you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBusy! We\u2019re kicking off our campaign with an event tonight. I think it will go well, but we\u2019re working on the finishing touches.\u201d Or:<\/p>\n

\u201cGreat! I\u2019m wrapping up some loose ends before taking a vacation next week.\u201d<\/p>\n

It\u2019s still chit-chat, but it gives the other conversationalist a bone. And as a bonus, you seem far more interesting.<\/p>\n

I understand there is a certain banality to small talk, and my cynical friends will dismiss these conversations, preferring deeper or more intellectual exchanges. But I challenge them to try the little experiment I did last week.<\/p>\n

I made an effort to chat-up those I ran into. When I walked past a neighbor, the perfunctory wave instead turned into a 20-minute conversation. The meat market guy and I commiserated on the lack of good Easter candy this year. The woman at the grocery store check-out \u2013 a very familiar face \u2013 finally \u201csaw\u2019 me as we talked about where we\u2019d like to travel in the not-so-distant future.<\/p>\n

There was a certain appreciation I sensed from my conversation partners and, moreover, these conversations made me feel good.<\/p>\n

It turns out that people actually kind of like small talk. A Harvard Business Review article reported that, for many, small talk energized them and, in fact, did make them feel more \u201cseen.\u201d<\/p>\n

These seemingly superficial exchanges actually do more than you think. In its own way, small talk builds rapport, which sparks a connection and that, in turn, builds trust.<\/p>\n

Maya Angelou said it best: \u201cPeople will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.\u201d<\/p>\n

Who knows? That one small exchange in the elevator just might brighten someone\u2019s day.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As we gradually make our way back to the office, so too do we find ourselves in positions that require small talk. That elevator ride,Read More<\/i><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":651,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"rise-blocks_total_comments":0,"rise-blocks_categories":[{"term_id":1,"name":"Uncategorized","slug":"uncategorized","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":1,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":47,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":1,"category_count":47,"category_description":"","cat_name":"Uncategorized","category_nicename":"uncategorized","category_parent":0}],"rise-blocks_excerpt":"As we gradually make our way back to the office, so too do we find ourselves in positions that require small talk. That elevator ride, while seemingly interminable, is a bit more pleasant if we say something rather than just stare at our feet. Arriving at the same time to a meeting requires some sort of exchange of pleasantries. As..","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/650"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=650"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/650\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":652,"href":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/650\/revisions\/652"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/651"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=650"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=650"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=650"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}