{"id":762,"date":"2025-04-24T22:37:59","date_gmt":"2025-04-24T22:37:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/?p=762"},"modified":"2025-04-24T22:38:01","modified_gmt":"2025-04-24T22:38:01","slug":"how-to-succeed-at-failing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/?p=762","title":{"rendered":"How to Succeed at Failing"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"post-content\">\n<p>The f-word isn\u2019t what you think it is. We have come to dread something far more potent: <strong>failure<\/strong>. This is because failure triggers our primal fears\u2014humiliation, shame, or any other negative emotion that shatters our sense of capability and worthiness.<\/p>\n<p>Yet, failure is as common as success and sometimes it may be a necessary companion. \u00a0If you\u2019ve failed, you\u2019re in good company:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Theodore Geisel (aka Dr. Seuss) had his first book rejected by 27 different publishers<\/li>\n<li>Michael Jordan got cut by his high school basketball team<\/li>\n<li>Oprah Winfrey was fired from her first job as an anchor in Baltimore<\/li>\n<li>Abe Lincoln entered the Illinois Militia as a captain and was demoted to a private<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>As fundraisers, we are not immune to failing. An estimated <a href=\"https:\/\/thenonprofittimes.com\/npt_articles\/survey-40-of-fundraisers-end-up-fired\/\">25 percent will be fired<\/a> and those who stay often struggle. Almost half leave within two years and 40 percent report not being committed to their fundraising career.<\/p>\n<p>Why does this happen? Because the stakes are impossibly high and success is tied to one very large overweighted metric: our fundraising goal. While relationship-building is at the heart of what we do, this doesn\u2019t seem to count for much if the numbers don\u2019t add up. Our perceived worth gets entangled in how much money we\u2019ve raised.<\/p>\n<p>What words describe failure? Despair, disbelief, grief, anger, humiliation, and an all-encompassing, soul-sucking self-doubt. Yet, when failure strikes, we\u2019re expected to carry on. Even more, popular culture encourages us to buy in to these familiar tropes: look for the silver lining; everything happens for a reason; if it doesn\u2019t kill you, it will make you stronger. \u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Perhaps there is some truth to these cliches, but they don\u2019t diminish the stigma of failure. And when it strikes, we have no other choice but to deal with it. It\u2019s tempting to avert our eyes and pretend it\u2019s not happening, but a better approach might be to look straight-on at our failure. Here\u2019s how to get a clearer picture:<\/p>\n<p><strong>Differentiate between a setback and a failure<\/strong>. Some of us are so self-critical we regard any bump in the road as a failure. But what we might be actually experiencing is a setback. You can fix setbacks by changing the original plan. However, a failure is different\u2014it requires a change in outcome, a major overhaul. To be clear, you can come back from failure, but it will require some introspection and quite often a radical new approach.<\/p>\n<p><strong style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Take a moment to grieve. <\/strong><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Failure is gut-wrenching. It\u2019s important to grieve and sort out all the strong and sometimes conflicting emotions. Take some time to process, but don\u2019t allow yourself to wallow for too long.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Ask yourself why. <\/strong><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Try to detach yourself from your reeling emotions and, as objectively as you can, sort out the reasons for your failure. Psychologists have found that resilient people react to failure with a more positive <\/span><a style=\"font-size: inherit;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.verywellmind.com\/attribution-social-psychology-2795898\">attributional style<\/a><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">, meaning they see something specific and external (something fixable) rather than viewing their failure as a personal flaw. For example, you may have been terminated because you weren\u2019t a good fit for the organizational culture. Instead of feeling unlikable, look instead for a new environment that will be a better fit for you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Own your mistakes. <\/strong><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">While it\u2019s important to examine the external factors for failing, also regard your personal conduct. Have you been in denial about your work performance? Can you identify repetitive patterns in your behavior that have been disruptive? Or have you received feedback you disregarded? All of these questions will lead to personal accountability and a better understanding of what happened.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Inventory Your Strengths. <\/strong><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Perhaps you did make some mistakes. Acknowledge them and try to correct self-sabotaging behaviors. They don\u2019t define you, and it certainly doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re without merit. This is the time to think about what you do well, where you shine, and what makes you happy. Most of us thrive when we feel a sense of mastery. Inventory what you\u2019re good at and look for opportunities where you can lean into those strengths.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Realign your goals<\/strong><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">. If you\u2019ve assessed your strengths, you might discover that they were not particularly suited for the job you lost. Do you need to challenge your perceptions or expectations about yourself? Just because you\u2019ve done something for a long time doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s what you\u2019re meant to do. Dare to think about yourself differently. Take those strengths you\u2019ve identified and create a plan that will put them to good use.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><strong style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Celebrate your success. <\/strong><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">It\u2019s easy to feel battered and beaten after a failure. But failing doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re a failure, and sometimes we have to remind ourselves of what\u2019s gone right, what we\u2019ve actually achieved. These successes don\u2019t have to be game-changing or life-altering. Each day, celebrate the small victories. They are the necessary elements that lead to big success.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Failing sucks, but you will get through it. And with some introspection and a little personal grace, you might even find yourself in a better, happier position.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The f-word isn\u2019t what you think it is. We have come to dread something far more potent: failure. This is because failure triggers our primal<a href=\"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/?p=762\">Read More<i class=\"fa fa-long-arrow-right\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><\/i><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":763,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"rise-blocks_total_comments":0,"rise-blocks_categories":[{"term_id":1,"name":"Uncategorized","slug":"uncategorized","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":1,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":47,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":1,"category_count":47,"category_description":"","cat_name":"Uncategorized","category_nicename":"uncategorized","category_parent":0}],"rise-blocks_excerpt":"The f-word isn\u2019t what you think it is. We have come to dread something far more potent: failure. This is because failure triggers our primal fears\u2014humiliation, shame, or any other negative emotion that shatters our sense of capability and worthiness. Yet, failure is as common as success and sometimes it may be a necessary companion. \u00a0If you\u2019ve failed, you\u2019re in..","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/762"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=762"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/762\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":764,"href":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/762\/revisions\/764"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/763"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=762"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=762"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andreataylorconsulting.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=762"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}