My father liked to say “it’s a man’s world.” Always the instigator, he loved getting a rise out of me. And I usually took the bait.
However, my mother paid little attention. Not so much as an eye-roll; she just went about her business blazing a trail.
Mom was a go-getter before it was fashionable. Having to choose among one of the more acceptable careers offered to women in the 1950’s, my mother settled on teaching. That lasted for a few years. Marriage, thankfully for her, offered an acceptable alternative to a career choice that was less her own and more of my grandparents’ choosing.
When my sister and I were growing up, my mother channeled her energy into volunteering. And what a volunteer she was. Not content to merely play the role of worker bee, Mom set her sights on the highest leadership positions. She was on the phone constantly throughout the day, coordinating with others and, well, generally holding forth.
Mom eventually parlayed one of her volunteer roles into a paid position. The local YWCA, at the time, was in the middle of a capital campaign and my mother enthusiastically agreed to speak to various groups about the project.
Unlike most people, my mother loved public speaking. And, unlike most people, Mom also loved fundraising. So, it was not surprising that the board chair encouraged her to consider leading the Y as its executive director.
It took about two seconds for her to decide. This was a role she embraced, and it probably won’t surprise you that the Y successfully completed its campaign. Mom went on to other successful positions, mostly in the nonprofit sector, but this was the job that brought her the greatest sense of accomplishment.
My mother, despite all her energy and commitment, was far from perfect. She was thin-skinned and emotional, which led to conflicts that otherwise might have been avoided. That high emotion, though, could be channeled into passion. It was hard to deny her spirit and charisma.
The lessons I learned from her were invaluable. Mom led with great organizational skills. She could move an audience and was persuasive in presenting her case. And she was doggedly determined.
Most importantly, though, it was my mother’s deep commitment to her community that I learned to appreciate through osmosis. When I went to choose a career, it was already chosen for me. I never really had any doubts that I wanted to follow in her footsteps.
Dad knew he was fooling no one with his “man’s world” provocations. He would have been, in his own way, a role-model for the 21st century spouse. He was my mother’s most ardent supporter and rarely got in the way of her career goals. In later years, he would even regularly volunteer at her office.
In thinking about her this Mother’s Day, I realize Mom gave me the best gift of all: a powerful example of leadership and success.