Let’s face it, fundraisers are lousy at staying put. With an average stay of less than two years, development officers cite stress, unrealistic expectations, and leadership issues—a euphemistic way of saying they don’t like their boss—as common reasons for leaving their job.

And while the industry acknowledges these challenges, there is a hint of blame. The runaway employee couldn’t stand the pressure, hates to fail, or doesn’t have what it takes to do the job.

But what if leaders acknowledged they were equally responsible for this early exodus? Could they stem turnover by improving their own performance? Rather than bemoaning the inability to hire and keep good staff, what if managers learned how to deliver criticism in a way that inspired fundraisers rather than bringing them down?

David Yeager, a professor of psychology and the author of 10 to 25: The Science of Motivating Young People, suggests it might be beneficial to think less about being the boss and instead start acting more like a mentor. Lead with encouragement and empathy, but don’t shy away from setting high (but not impossible) standards.

When embarking on a tough conversation, don’t resort to the usual compliment sandwich (bookmarking criticism with tepid praise). This only obfuscates the real issue and confuses the worker. Try communicating your expectations, but refrain from delivering a litany of grievances. Focus on the most important area that needs improvement and ask the employee to describe their performance. What’s going well? What isn’t? And how do they want to improve?

Then your job is to ask what support they need to accomplish their goals. Mutually arrive at touchstones to evaluate progress. And check in regularly to offer assistance.

By adopting a mentor mindset, you can turn the act of criticism into a workable and collaborative plan of action.