This pandemic has given me time to reflect. It’s also given me ample opportunity to catch up on podcasts. One of my favorites was from Brain Trust Philanthropy: “Life and Career Hacks Part 2: What Would I Tell my 20-Year-Old Fundraising Self If I Could Go Back in Time?” The panelists’ advice was relevant to all of us, whether we’re just beginning our careers or have been practicing for decades.
This podcast also got me thinking about what life lessons I have learned along the way. It prompted me to reflect on my mistakes, face my regrets, and own up to missed opportunities. It turns out there was a lot I could have told my younger self, but I’ll spare you the litany and highlight just a few observations:
Be Bold. Like many young professionals, I had little confidence in my abilities. Because of my uncertainty, I hesitated to act. And this resulted in many missed opportunities: a failure to initiate conversations, trouble networking, and a fear of expressing my opinion in groups. I had always been the one to sit in the back row with my hand down, but this behavior was not ideal in a profession that valued personal connections.
More troubling was that this overthinking – analysis paralysis – resulted in missed opportunities with donors. I stalled on making introductory phone calls, and sometimes waited far too long to get back to existing supporters.
I’ve witnessed this hesitancy in others, as well. As development officers, we have mile-long to-do lists and, frankly, it’s easy to put off what we dread. But habitual procrastination doesn’t lead to long-term success.
My sense is that this hesitation comes from fear of rejection. As I settled into my career, I learned that a donor’s reasons for not calling me back or declining my request rarely had anything to do with me. While rejection is never easy, I eventually became somewhat desensitized to it and didn’t personalize it the way I had in earlier days.
My advice to my younger self – and to others – would be to put your fear aside and go for it. Get out of your comfort zone and push through your hesitation. And have confidence that what you say and do matter. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.”
Seek Out Mentors. Early in my career, I lacked the confidence to actively seek advice. That’s not to say I was completely without mentors– many have helped me build my career – but I didn’t strategically assess what I needed, and then actively engage a mentor to help me reach my goals. My passivity didn’t necessarily hurt me, but it certainly did nothing to help build my career.
While I didn’t have much game when it came to surrounding myself with mentors, I’m encouraged by what I see today. I’ve witnessed some pretty impressive moxie from those who are just starting out. My mentees, for instance, have been far more intentional in their career-building efforts than I ever was. No shrinking violets, they are not afraid to take the initiative in seeking guidance.
They inspire me. Yes, even at this stage of my career, I need help, and lots of it. I am no native to digital marketing and social media, and I could really benefit from some expert advice. But now, unlike when I first started my career, I know it’s on me to find that support.
It’s never too late to connect with mentors. We need them at every stage of our career, and most mentors will agree that these relationships have mutual benefits. You get as much as you give.
Don’t Burn Bridges. We’ve all gotten into workplace squabbles. I’m not talking about serious offenses that threaten your safety or well-being and require formal action. I’m referring to relatively minor infractions where you feel slighted by a coworker or pissed-off at your boss.
Early in my career, I had a supervisor who was about a year older than me. I liked her at first, but then she got under my skin. Convincing myself that she was a horrible boss, I eventually began acting out. I’d call her on stuff to embarrass her and, honestly, approached most of our interactions with a giant-sized chip on my shoulder. To her credit, she confronted me. We reached an uneasy détente, but I left on my own accord shortly thereafter.
Ah, youth! I would soon understand that the workplace is full of characters – most of whom you get along with but some, not so much. I learned over time to think before speaking, become more patient with others, and to tolerate those with differing opinions or communication styles. I also employed the 24-hour rule: don’t respond in the heat of the moment. Address the situation once you’ve given it careful consideration.
The epilogue: my annoying boss had a long and successful career, and our paths did occasionally cross. Ironically, she became a donor of mine decades after we worked together (so snubbing her was no longer an option!) Professional circles are a tight network. Think carefully about your words and behavior – you never know when you might have to deal with the consequences.
I could share many other life lessons, but I would love to hear from you. Have you done things in your career that you regret? Are there conditions that have slowed your progress, or have you felt stuck? What advice would you offer those just starting out? I hope you’ll share your experiences to help others learn from you.