My yoga teacher has a saying: showing up is 90 percent of your practice. A nurturi soul, she praises us for this simple act of just being present on our mat. While it sets the bar ridiculously low, this goal of “showing up” is comforting and oddly self-affirming, especially today.
As fundraisers, we’ve struggled in the past year. In a relationship-intensive field, we have had to build and maintain ties through Zoom calls, socialize at a distance with virtual events, and adapt to using the good old-fashioned phone.
But our remote practices don’t mean that we have to be emotionally remote.
I ran across a Buzzfeed article entitled, “A More or Less Definitive Guide to Showing up For Friends,” that listed 66 suggestions to improve your relationships. Although written before the pandemic, this piece offers many timeless recommendations. Plus, several tips are applicable to building great relationships in the nonprofit sector.
The term showing up suggests being fully present in your interactions, so that you can create a more meaningful and lasting bond. As the authors stated, “Showing up requires intelligence, intuition, empathy, generosity, confidence, and a willingness to be vulnerable.”
All 66 suggestions are useful, but I’ve adopted a few that are especially important to our fundraising world. These simple acts – of being present and paying attention – can have a transformational effect on your relationships:
When you’re engaging with others, be fully present. Clear your mind from distractions, silence your phone and other devices, and fully commit your time and attention to the person you’re with.
Note important information about your donors. Record information – in your database or on your phone – about their family, important milestones coming up, travel, hobbies, and other information that distinguishes them. The consideration you show by inquiring about these things in subsequent meetings will go a long way in strengthening your bond.
Pay attention to the phrases, “I wish,” “I want,” or “I need.” Our job, as fundraisers, is to uncover our donors’ philanthropic passions. Donors may not always tell you directly, and others might be discovering what these passions are. These small phrases, though, may help you understand what drives and motivates your donors.
When the world opens up again, literally show up. Make spending time with donors and volunteers a priority. Avoid the path of least resistance by settling on a comfortable email exchange. And when you schedule a meeting, don’t cancel or postpone unless you absolutely need to do so. Also, be on time. Being late shows a lack of respect for others.
Follow up on interests. If a donor frequently mentions a show they’re watching or a favorite author, check it out. A daughter of one of my donors, for example, had written her first book and Mom (the donor) was understandably proud. I made a point of reading it, knowing how important her daughter’s accomplishment was to her.
Remember names of family members and other important people. And ask about them. This demonstrates a deeper level of investment than simply expressing interest in their philanthropic inclinations.
Really see your donors. I know it’s hard to do with limited physical contact, but pay attention to physical cues – for instance, are they well, do they seem chronically tired, has their appearance or their demeanor changed? Recognizing these changes might give you some insight into their ability to fully engage with you and your organization, and might shed some light on their decision-making processes.
After a big or life-changing event, check in. Take the time to inquire about their son’s wedding, a big trip they had planned, or their recovery from a personal injury. In other words, show you are interested in them, not just what they can do for your organization.
I’m sure you also have your favorite ways of connecting with donors. How do you show up? What actions have you taken that have built more trusting relationships? I’d love to hear from you!